Oops

Once again, I have epically failed at keeping this little blog updated. Oopsie.
My life has been a tinsy bit hectic after the whole 'my father deciding to be the biggest asshole ever' incident. Life goes on though. What can I do really? It's not my choice. If I had it my way I'd staple his nose shut so he could never do it again....but that's unethical or something. 
I did have a post written already, about a view of my tiny apartment, but I'm at my Momma's house and I don't have any of the pictures on her computer. Not that my apartment is that interesting in the first place :P

Cam and I are going furniture shopping...or window shopping...in a few so I should probably go get ready now.

xoxo, Raven

p.s.

OMFG.

Cah-ute

After that last, not so happy post, I decided I needed a dose of cuteness. What's more cute than baby animals/ animals in general? Not much, that's what.

xoxo, Raven

I spoke too soon...

Remember that post about my dad? How he's been clean for three years? Scratch that. Last night my mom called me at 9:30, bawling. Apparently my dad has been getting high for the past week or so. My mom regularly checks their bank account online, but my parents were moving houses this week. No internet = no way for my mom to check the account. She went to the bank yesterday morning to find that money had been taken out of their account that she wasn't aware of.
When my mom confronted my dad about this, he flipped. In front of my little brother. Which is the part that I'm most pissed off about. He was ranting and raving about how he needs his drugs, he can't live without them, and how we don't understand that he needs them. Bullshit.

My dad made a promise to me when he first went to rehab; "I'm not going to put Zane through what I put you through" he says. Again, bullshit.
I rushed over to my mom's house to calm her down and make her feel better. Zane was already asleep by the time I got there, but when he got home from school today all he could talk about was how scared he was. He was afraid "daddy was going to hurt himself, or hurt mommy, or hurt me".
Once again I say, bullshit. 
No eight year old little boy should have to deal with this.

If you have a drug problem, I strongly advise you to get help. Before you completely lose your family's trust, before you lose your dignity, and before you lose yourself.

 

Maroon 5 & Train!

On Thursday night, Taylor and I headed to Indy to see Maroon 5 and Train. It was so much fun I could hardly contain myself after the concert was done.

 After the concert, we got a little lost in Indy. It was a bit terrifying. We made it home okay though.
On Friday, it was quality time for me and momma. I did my laundry, she showed me her new house (it's so pretty!), and I helped her unpack a bit. It was much needed family time.

I've been applying my little heart out to a bunch of places in Lafayette, for when we move, and boy am I tired of those silly questionnaires. You know, the ones that ask the same question 500 times with different wording. My mom is looking into getting me a job at the hospital, but jobs are so tight everywhere it may be difficult. Here's hoping!

xoxo, Raven

Tat, tat, tatted up!

Okay, so I don't personally have any tattoos. I really want one though. I have far more important things to buy at the moment then a tattoo (sad face). I recently stumbled upon this lady; Mimsy. 
(Well, actually, Kaelah found her) & let me tell you what, I love love love her tattoos. That's the exact style that I want my Tattoo to be.

Lovely, they're all just so lovely. My favorite is by far the Disney Princess one. I plan on getting Ariel tattooed on me at some point.

xoxo, Raven

Genius I tell you!

My boyfriend is a genius! He kinda sorta, not really, fixed my laptop. Really, he fixed my keyboard situation. He has a keyboard that you can plug into the USB on the laptop, and voila! You have working keyboard. :)

I've been so frazzled with everything lately, my mind is going at 200 mph thinking about everything that's coming up. We're moving back to Lafayette (oh joy!...no sarcasm intended), I'm starting school in January, and I need a new laptop. At least I get a little break from everything on Thursday. Taylor and I are going to the Maroon5 & Train concert. It was originally supposed to be at the Indy state fair, but the stage collapsed there. It was pretty terrible, you can read about it here.
I'm really excited though (who wouldn't be excited for 4th row seats to Maroon5?!?), It does help that Adam Lavine is easy on the eyes too. ;)

I was 'online shopping' the other day, I put it in quotations because I'm broke and I can't even shop offline, and I found these two adorable dresses on ModCloth

Buy me these please:)


xoxo, Raven

Computer Fail

so, my computer decided to basically give up on life  , everything on the right side of my keyboard doesn't work , therefore, i can't use backspace, the enter button, or the period button, i look so grammatically incorrect right now

My Family Part 3; Zane

Zane is my obnoxious eight year old little brother. He was born on January 20th, 2003, two days before my 11th birthday.

When I was about seven years old, all I could talk about was how I wanted a little brother or sister. My mom didn't like the idea, so I got a cat instead. By the time I was eleven, I was perfectly content with being an only child. My mom thought that was the perfect time to get knocked up.
Like most children who are going through major changes in their lives, I became a terror. I didn't listen to anything my mom said, I started acting up in school, and I didn't give a damn about any of it. I felt like my mom decided I wasn't good enough so she had to have another baby. My mother assured me numerous times that it wasn't like that at all, that I'd always be her baby, no matter what. I started to calm down, until she told me when the baby would be here. Her due date was on my birthday. I already had to share my mommy and daddy with this little creep, there was no way I was going to share my birthday too.
Since my mother's due date was so close to my birthday (on it), she decided to have my birthday party a few days before.
Little did I know, that damn baby would steal the show again. As I was blowing out the candles on my birthday cake, my mother started having contractions. She was rushed away to the hospital by my father. I was pissed. Not only did that thing steal my mom, it was stealing my dad too!

The next day my mom called me, crying and screaming that I had a new little brother. Zane Alexander. I didn't know how to feel. Apart of me was excited, part of me was pissed, and part of me felt all alone. My mom's friend took me to the hospital to see the new addition to our family.
As soon as I saw him I burst into tears. He was so adorable, how the hell was I supposed to compete with that? When the doctor let me hold him for the first time, I cried some more, but this time they were happy tears. This little baby in my arms was my little brother. I decided, right then and there, I was going to be the best damn sister in the whole world. I wasn't going to let anything ever hurt this adorable little boy.

Eight years later, I still feel the same. Sure we have our fights, we're siblings it'd be creepy if we didn't, but I love that little boy more than ever.

 

Zane, age 7

Riding his bike without training wheels for the first time.

 Last Halloween

  xoxo, Raven

Inspiration;

I've been feeling so uninspired by everything lately, bummer, so I went and found all these inspiring things;

 xoxo, Raven

My Family Part 2; Daddy

"Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad." -- Anne Geddes 

My dad is one of my biggest heroes. He's always believed in me, no matter how crazy my ideas seemed. I grew up a daddy's girl, and I still am.

My dad is the one outlined in red

He was born James Matthew Hill on August 26th, 1969. My grandmother, Jeanne (read Gee-nee), already had two other children, Paul and Debby, with my grandfather when my dad was born. My dad, nor I,  never met my grandfather, he walked out on my grandma when my dad was just a baby.
My grandma had another son a few years later with another man, his name was Quincey.


My dad was a trouble maker from the start. He was always bringing home animals and hiding them; pulling pranks on the mail man; and getting into fights in school. He was smart, though. He was in trigonometry by the time he was a junior in high school. He probably could have done something wonderfully brilliant with his life, if it hadn't been for the drugs.
My father was an avid pot smoker. If there was a way to get it, he'd do it. Pot turned into ADHD medicine, ADHD medicine turned into any prescription pills he could get, and that turned into Cocaine.
For 20 years, my father was a Coke addict. He was doing so much Coke that he no longer has a sense of smell.
About 3 years ago, my dad checked himself into rehab. He's been clean ever since.

It took it's toll on my family, and myself, but I forgave him. I forgave him because he believed in me for my whole life, and it was finally my turn to believe he could win this battle. I hope someday he can forgive himself, because he deserves it.

 

My dad and my baby cousin on the 4th of July

xoxo, Raven

**edit;  my dad is no longer clean.

Wedding Wishin'

Weddings, one of the biggest events in a person's life. I don't know a girl out there that doesn't dream of her wedding day. I'm one of those girls who has 500000 ideas for my wedding, but no wedding to put them into yet. It'll come soon enough though.
I've been with Cam for over five years, but I'm still really young. I'm not in a rush, but if he asked me I'd say yes in a heart beat.

One of the things I know I want, is a candy bar or buffet. I love candy, so that's my way of putting a little bit of myself into my reception. Plus, they're adorable so they'll look cute as well as tasting great.

I love the little favor boxes, it would be a good way to have something for your guests to take home and enjoy!

I love the color coordination of this one, though I don't really want all that pink in my wedding. 

Another thing almost every girl dreams of is her wedding dress. Whether it's the style, the designer, or the color, most girls know what they want.
Lately, I've been loving Priscilla of Boston, and tea length, sweetheart neckline, bows, and lace are all my favorite factors in a wedding dress.

 

This has been one of my favorites by her for a long time. It has pockets!

Do you have anything you need to have in your wedding?

xoxo, Raven

My Family Part 1; Momma

"To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power."
-- Maya Angelou

My mother, Christie, is one of the most important people in my life. Without her I would be a wreck. She has gone through, and put up with, so much in her life. She is not a force to be reckoned with.

My mom was born Christie Jean Willams on May 7, 1971. Her mother, Norma, was only fifteen when she gave birth. Her father left my grandma the moment he found out she was pregnant. My mother, nor I, never met him. We don't even know his name.

In July of 1974 my grandmother married Rodney Buckham. He legally adopted my mother and her last name was changed to Buckham as well. A few years later, my grandparents had another child, Misty. My mother was thrilled to have a little sister, but she didn't know everything would change so much after she was born.

Misty was the obvious favorite. It was almost as if my grandma wanted my mom out of the picture. My mom felt like she was an embarrassment to my grandma. Why else would she allow Rodney to treat Misty so much differently, so much better? My mother started to feel as if it was her fault. She thought she never should have been born and messed everything up for my grandma's new family.

Nothing she ever did was good enough for my grandma. She was too fat, not smart enough, not enough like Misty. My mother doesn't hold it against Misty though, she loved her. If she did she'd be no better than her mother. Soon, my mother just got used to it (as used to it as you can, anyways).

Eventually she moved out with my father, who she met in high school. I was born on January 22, 1992. My mom was 20.
After I was born she decided to go back to school. She graduated with a degree in imaging sciences, (x-ray, Catscan, Mri), and she worked her way up the ladder to MRI.

My mother lives everyday with anxiety disorder and a recovering drug addict (my father). She is one of the strongest women I know, and she's my biggest fan. I love her with all my heart and I hope I can be as amazing as she is someday.

xoxo, Raven

Hair cut & silly kitties

I had a friend of mine, Katja (read; Kah-sha), cut my hair yesterday. She's still in beauty school, but I trust her & she only charges me $5, so that's a huge plus. It was about damn time I got a haircut too! I haven't cut my hair since April of 2010! You wouldn't believe the amount of split ends that graced my scalp.

I got about 7 inches cut off all together, and my head feels like it weighs 20lbs less. 

Like I've said before, my cats are silly, but I wouldn't have them any other way. Jack has this new thing he does, he will meow obnoxiously at you until you pet him while he eats.

and as always, he loves playing in the water. He LOVES the bathroom sink, and the bathroom in general, he loves playing with the water. He swats at it and tries to bite it, but he drinks it like crazy too. He's so silly.

Here's Lucy being lazy under the futon. It's been her favorite place lately. She may be trying to get away from Jack under there, they pester each other so much some days.

xoxo, Raven